At The Book Edit, we believe every life contains stories worth telling - but some lives contain enough stories to fill several books. Nick Shepherd's remarkable journey across five countries and eight decades is one such life, and we're delighted to have played a part in bringing his memoir to readers.
From the rubble of wartime London to the jungles of Malaya, from Scottish sawmills to Mexican boardrooms, Nick's story is one of constant reinvention and growing wisdom. His memoir asks vital questions about how we navigate change, embrace difference, and grow beyond the confines of our original culture. In this interview, Nick reflects on not only his extraordinary experiences but also the craft of transforming a life's worth of memories into a compelling narrative.
As someone who has witnessed history from multiple vantage points, Nick offers unique insights into both the art of memoir writing and the capacity for human adaptation. His reflections on the writing process may be particularly valuable for others thinking about capturing their own life stories.
Author Nick Shepherd with his three grown up children and wife, Caroline
1. What was the most challenging aspect of writing your memoir?
I took much more pleasure in the writing than I had expected to, and always sat down with pleasure to move on with it. My big challenge was organising the material. I felt that I should divide it according to what I saw as the two big themes: life in war and life in peace (by the way, my favourite book is War and Peace, so that may have something to do with it). The trouble is, one war finished when I was 12 years old, and the next one didn’t start - at least not for me - until I was 22, 10 years later. I realise that we change every year that passes, and those 10 years were especially important for my development, both in the wonderful people I met, and (as a result) in the way I looked at the world. I tried to keep the thematic division, but knew deep down that it wasn’t working.
2. How did you approach writing about events from many decades ago? What techniques helped you access old memories?
I don‘t think I used a technique. I just thought about what had happened, found plenty of memories flooding up to the surface, and tried to select from them as they seemed to fit in with my key aim, which was (is) to focus on all those moments when I became aware of something which I had not previously considered, and changed my view of life as a result. When you change the way you look at the world, you remember the event(s) that caused it.
I didn’t talk to anyone except Tere (most of the others are dead), I’ve never kept a diary. I found some photos, but that was after I had written the whole thing. My last sentence (which is not very well written) was my main thought. Let me try again. I think the question is actually central to what the book is about.
I want to write about change, about becoming aware, about seeing things differently. Every time some event makes me reconsider the way I see the world - something happens, I meet someone, something is said -, and it’s like the great Mexican earthquake. Everything wobbles and moves, until it settles again in a new position, and I become a different person. The memory of that change etches itself into my brain, and is there forever. Those memories are who I am. If I remember them, it is because to me they matter.
3. Were there moments when family members remembered events differently from you? How did you navigate these varying perspectives?
Of the earlier years, there is nobody alive from that time. In later years, I have sometimes found that Teresa does not remember incidents that I remember. Not that she remembers them differently, she just doesn't seem to have any recollection of some events which are very much alive in my mind, which is surprising, because in general her memory is very good, and she has been very helpful with dates. I'm not good at dates.
4. Did the process of writing reveal new connections or patterns in your life that you hadn't noticed before?
Yes. I knew that the gay guys I met in my late teens were important, but began to see just how important they had been, and in what ways. I also realised that there was a (destructive) pattern of alcohol consumption running through my life, which rocked several boats. Also, I think I understand much better why I got into the drinking habit, and why, forty years later, I was able to fight it off.
5. Was there anything you initially felt reluctant to include but ultimately decided was essential to the story?
I hesitated over including my drinking habits, but I finally accepted the fact that my drinking was central to the breakup of my first marriage, and needed to be mentioned.
6. What made you choose to work with The Book Edit on your memoir?
I think the main reason was when I became aware that the Book Edit staff are all connected to a well-known university. That gave me a feeling that you would approach my work, not so much as a possible source of revenue, but more of something that might have some value in its own right. I felt that your approach would be serious, and respect the aims of the book. I was right.
7. How did the editorial process help shape your initial manuscript?
I think I ‘m not too bad as a writer, but not much good when it comes to organising the material. It was Penny at the Book Edit who pointed out that the work needed to be chronological because otherwise it was confusing. I had put everything to do with War in one part, and everything else separate, but in reality they overlap, because there were some important peaceful years between those wars. And that was where those years belonged in the manuscript.
8. Was there a particular breakthrough moment during your collaboration with your editor?
I suppose it happened with my earlier book, Living Language (which I am still working on), when she basically told that I didn’t seem to know who the **** I was addressing (she phrased it politely). My immediate reaction was (predictably) negative, but I soon realised that she was absolutely right, and the first thing I had to do was work out who my audience was. That is also true, but in a different way, of this book, where she challenged my use of a thematic rather than a chronological sequence.
9. How does it feel to see your life experiences about to be published in a book?
Not sure. I hope it will touch people, and they will sympathise with my approach to life. If you mean do I feel naked or something, then no.
10. How has your perspective on your own story changed through the process of writing and publishing it?
Writing my story down has made me aware of what my life is mostly about, and has given me a better understanding of myself. I am also more consciously grateful to a range of people who have helped me along. People who helped.
I remember my mum and my brother Peter, who helped me so much in material ways when I was young. I remember my gay friends, Martin Starkie, Peter Nathan, Henry Reed, John Gielgud, and more. I remember my dear friend Colin White, who I knew from childhood, and who I followed to Canada and Mexico. I remember, and still see, my first wife Teresa Cervera, with whom I founded a cultural centre and brought up two children. I remember Graciela Padilla, my wonderful secretary and general factotum in the cultural centre. I remember Walter Plumb and Ethel Brinton, who were my bosses for years. And I remember Richard Rossner, Paul Davies and Marisol Delafuente, all colleagues in Mexico.
11. What would you most like readers to take away from your memoir?
If you feel ill at ease, or perhaps even lost, in the world you were born into, go out and explore until you find somewhere where you feel you can belong. That world, that environment, may not be so far from your home, and you do not have to do what I did, and travel thousands of miles from where you were born. Diversity rules, and we are all very different from each other, but although we are in one sense all alone, we should not give up hope of making deep and lasting connections with other people. They may be in another country. Or they may be just round the corner.
Thank you so much, Nick, and congratulations on the publication of your memoir, Changing Through War & Peace: My Life in Five Countries. If you’re interested to find out more, you can buy a copy here.
